Books help. They suggest solutions to problems, show the experiences of others, bring up important topics, and encourage discussion. When you're lost in the world and don't know what to do, try books, audio versions, and some podcasts. They will help you to be grounded and suggest some kind of solution.
In November 2019, I was admitted to a psychiatric hospital. They put F41.2 - mixed anxiety and depressive disorder. This event became the starting point for changes in my thinking, lifestyle and behavior. Suddenly, for myself, I realized that I was actually an extrovert and I love talking with people, listening to their stories and collecting them. I started a telegram diary (now private due to cyberbullying), wrote longreads and guides about mental health, and now I proudly call myself a couch psychoactivist. There is even a "professional" side effect: I am sending all the people around for therapy, although this is not ethical.
At that time, I felt very bad. I entered voluntarily, with a referral from the PND, a knock down regime, tear-stained eyes and cuts. I didn’t want to go to bed because I was afraid of my college debt and my mother’s anger - initially I wanted to hide such news from her, fortunately, I live separately and rarely call. Despite this, I remained in contact, asked the details of the treatment and the effect of the pills, asked for psychotherapy, and when it became very good, I myself named the date of discharge. Unfortunately, due to the workload of the psychiatrist, the meetings were canceled, and I was left alone with myself.
If only one doctor then suspected that I had BPD ...
Then I started looking. I searched for articles on pharmacology, applied psychiatry, telegram channels for other people with mental disorders, and eventually books. I caught my eye "Authenticity: How To Be Yourself" by Stephen Joseph. It contains the cases of patients with depressive episodes, an explanation of the protective mechanisms of the psyche, and most importantly, a storehouse of exercises for finding and developing oneself and one's personality. This book greatly contributed to my recovery and threw in unnecessary topics for conversations with my grandmother and then-young man. Thank you for being around.
The effect of the book is really strong. I still have a notebook with answers to practice exercises and quotes. It is also useful to re-read it - and find new thoughts for yourself.
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