Preview
Since creativity often has to be combined with work, sometimes there is not enough time to write a quality work, and when time finally appears, the muse suddenly disappears. Only occasionally is it possible to find a balance, firmly riding two hypostases at once. In these happy moments, the author reminds me of Jean-Claude Van Damme standing in a twine on trucks driving away to the sides . As you can imagine, one awkward movement and your pants will easily fall into disrepair.
Having found the golden mean between time and inspiration, using superhuman efforts and proudly tightening the belt on his darned pants, the author decides to tell you another story, carefully borrowed by him from life, only slightly embellishing it with a patchwork quilt of fiction. Soβ¦
This story took place in one of the chats, or rather in an unremarkable correspondence between a support worker of the GoodSupport website and his most ordinary client.
November 20
17:50
Ten minutes before the change by the operator
Characters
The chatbot is stingy with words, emotionless, when meeting, it prefers to take the initiative into its own hands. According to clients - stupid, soulless brute.
Larissa is a disgruntled buyer of a smart lampshade. The character is violent, but easy-going. Likes to create conflicts out of the blue, which is why she never rested in the mountains.
Alexey is a technical support operator. Suicidal tendencies from 12:00 to 18:00. By an amazing coincidence, this is how long his working day lasts.
Act one
(an entertainer in the guise of a Chatbot introduces the main characters)
Chatbot: Hello! How can I help?
Larissa: you are freaks !!! *
// * Spelling-punctuation and author style preserved
Chatbot: Please introduce yourself and describe your problem.
Larissa: I bought a lampshade from you, it doesnβt work return the money, freaks !!! Chatbot
: Please wait, I'll put you in touch with the first free operator.
// a minute later
Alexey: Hello, my name is Alexey. How can I help you?
Larissa: your lampshade is shit - plows nothing !!! Drive the grandmother or I'll sue you !!! *
// * The law on the abuse of exclamation marks was promised to be passed in the third reading
Alexey: Thank you for your answer. Could you describe the problem in more detail.
The second act
(the outset of the action)
Larissa: plugged it in, he peeped twice and silence !!! On the forum they write everything immediately turns on for everyone, and you slipped me some kind of squeaker !!!
Alexey: Everything is fine, the power-on indication went off, confirming that the device is ready for operation. Next, you have to authorize the device on the network. Can you please tell me how you connect to the Internet?
// a minute later
Larissa: I'm just going in.
Alexey: Good. The smart lampshade works through an app on your phone, but you need to connect the device to the network to start using it.
Larissa: well, plug it in !!! WHY DO I HAVE TO DO THIS ???
Alexey: Sorry, this service is not included in the purchase price. Usually, buyers set up the devices themselves. Tell me, have you read the instructions attached to the lampshade?
Larissa: what do you think I'm stupid ???
Alexey: No, I don't think so. The instructions describe step by step the process of connecting the device to the network. Please read the instructions. If you have any questions, please write.
Larisa: everything was in Chinese.
Alexei:Translation into Russian is duplicated on the reverse side.
Larisa: I've already thrown it out.
Alexey: We strongly recommend that you read the instructions.
Larissa: I won't go into the trash, why am I a homeless woman
// a minute later
Alexey: Good. Here is a link to the instruction http: //link_to_instruction_to_smart_black.pdf . Completely in Russian.
// three minutes later
Larissa: I typed this on the Internet writes IMPOSSIBLE TO FIND THE PAGE
Alexey: No, you don't need to enter it, just click on the link, it is clickable.
Larissa: clicked. writes an unknown format
Alexey: You do not have a reader for .pdf files installed.
Larissa: Why couldn't you say it right away ??
// despite the end of the working day, the thought of suicide crept even deeper into Alexei's mind
Act three
(culminating)
Aleksey: Good. We are ready to make a refund. Within 7 calendar days, send the product, warranty card and all components in their original packaging to our address: City, postal code, street, house.
Larisa: I tore the box when I opened it
Aleksey: It's okay, violation of the integrity of the packaging is not a reason for refusing to exchange goods or refund money.
Larisa: do you really need a warranty card?
Alexey: Yes, but we will make an exception for you. Send without a warranty card.
Larissa: should I carry it to the post office now?
Alexey: Not necessarily, you can use the courier service.
Larissa: do they have to pay?
Aleksey: Mostly couriers are used to receiving remuneration for their work.
Larissa: is it not destiny for you to come for the lampshade? It's your fault that it doesn't work.
// a minute later
Alexey: Give the address.
Larissa: [address originating from the Milky Way and ending with a number on the door]
Aleksey: Great, a courier will come to you tomorrow morning. We will carry out the delivery at our own expense.
Larissa: maybe it can still be repaired? I just wanted this color for myself, I don't really like it in other stores ...
Aleksey: Sorry, the case is not repairable. A manufacturing defect will probably have to recall the entire batch.
Larissa: can I think until tomorrow?
Alexei: Okay, but the courier will still come for the goods. The money will be returned to your account within three working days. Our company cannot allow the client to be unhappy.
Larissa:Well, actually, I'm not offended anymore. Your lampshade looks beautiful in the bedroom. You know, I'll keep it for myself. You can tell the courier not to come. Bye!
Act four
(unexpected ending)
// the powerful release of endorphins into the blood, due to the optimistic end of the working day, dispersed the former thoughts of suicide from the technical support operator. After handing over the shift, he left the work chat, exchanging it for the chat of the dating site
Alexey: Hello! Why such a flower without a gardener?
// tackle banal, but the lunar deity in a swimsuit against the background of golden sand, looking at Alexei from the avatar did not keep you waiting
Aphrodite: who are you?
// strangers rarely answered Alexei. The reason for this is his photograph without retouching and filters.
Alexei: Who knows, maybe the future Elon Musk ...
Aphrodite: do you use technology?
Alexey: Oooh ... does someone need to reinstall Windows?
// the technical support operator saw nothing wrong with vulgar stereotypes
Aphrodite: like that. I bought equipment, I can't figure out how to turn it on. Can you help?
Aleksey: No problem, I'm the one you need))
Aphrodite: oh, thank you. you are cool. come
Alexey: Master is at your service for an hour. Dictate the address !!! ..
Aphrodite: [address originating from the Milky Way and ending with a number on the door]
// which Casanova did not seem suspiciously familiar to Casanova, who was stupefied from an overabundance of testosterone
Alexey: The challenge is accepted! I'm leaving! I'll just drop into the pharmacy ... for a licensed version of Windows.
Aphrodite: yeah, come on, I'm waiting!
// this is how technical support once again proved its professionalism and ability to find an individual approach to each client
Source: https://author.today/work/100475