In order to understand what is the cause of the conflict, it is worth answering a few questions, and in order to protect your interests, develop a plan.
First reaction and finding a stumbling block
Most often, the first reaction to a difficult boss situation will be two opposing behaviors.
The first behavior is to become as invisible as possible and outwardly not react in any way. Having chosen the second option, on the contrary, there is a desire to solve everything on emotions, causing even greater conflict. But in the long run, none of these ideas will be the best choice.
What then is to be done? First you need to exhale, calm your feelings, take a sober look at the situation and draw up a plan of action.
Your first consideration should be to determine the severity of the problem.
- The most important question you must answer for yourself is whether you plan to stay in this job. Whether you appreciate her or are ready to say goodbye with ease.
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Your further behavior will depend on the answers to these questions. If you do not want to change jobs, and attacks from your boss occur every day, you start the morning with a sedative and conversations with colleagues at the coffee machine more often come down to discussing another epic debriefing with the boss, then it's time to move on to the next point.
Secondly, you need to find out the root cause of the problem and its primary source. The reasons can be divided into four types: your leader, yourself, communication between you, and other factors beyond your control. Let's consider in more detail.
- The reason is in the leader himself. He behaves inappropriately, criticizes you unnecessarily, or is overly controlling. You may be worried about only one aspect of his behavior, or everything is more complicated and you have a whole list of complaints.
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If the reason turns out to be in yourself, this is always difficult to admit, you should not spread rot on yourself and fall into a state of "impostor effect", you should take this as a good incentive to improve your skills, whether professional or communication. If there is an opportunity to get training, then use it. Try to get out of a conflict situation not only without losses, but also by acquiring useful skills and invaluable experience.
If the source of the problem lies in the leader himself or your communication, then we proceed to developing an action plan and resolving the current situation.
Plan development, preparation and action
Prepare the evidence base before taking action. Document your interactions with your manager. Pay special attention to the goals and results of your activities. Try to avoid verbal instructions and performance evaluations. It will be difficult to make you an incompetent employee if all tasks are closed on time and there are no written comments on your work. If the conflict lies in the field of communications, then document the incorrect behavior addressed to you, at this stage refrain from communicating one-on-one with the manager, let colleagues become your witnesses, this will be useful in the future.
Next, decide whether you will talk to the manager directly or whether it is more rational to involve an outside observer, perhaps it will be the head of the HR department or the boss of your boss.
Choosing the first option, choose the right time. It is worth planning your appointment in advance. Consider the issues that need to be resolved and prepare specific theses. Try to exclude emotions and accusations from your conversation, tone of voice also matters. For example, instead of the phrase "Dear Ivan Ivanovich, I am not satisfied with your constant remarks that I come to work after 12 in the morning, we have a free schedule, I do not break anything," you can say: "Ivan Ivanovich, even though our organization has a free schedule , I would like to know why I should come to work earlier, is there any point about which I should know that interferes with my professional duties and worsens the work in the team? " Of course, you are right and in the first phrase you defend your legal rights, but if the goal is to resolve the conflict,it won't help. In the second phrase, you make it clear that you understand that there can be no complaints against you according to your schedule, but at the same time you are ready to meet halfway and solve the problem. Perhaps it turns out that the whole team turned out to be early risers and works from 7 in the morning and at 3 am already leaving for their homes, and you show up at work only by 2, missing the meetings at which you would like to see.
Alas, this may not work, and the boss does not see any problem, or is not ready to solve it, then it is worth involving an outside observer. Use the same rules outlined above. But in this case, you may need documentary evidence prepared by you earlier, or the willingness of your colleagues to confirm your point of view. Contact Human Resources or your supervisor. They are interested parties in resolving differences and with their help you can find a way out of a conflict situation.
In general, the better you understand the root cause of the conflict situation in which you are involved, the more likely it is that everything will be resolved in your favor. If you cannot cope with the circumstances on your own, seek outside help. The main thing to remember is that work should be enjoyable, and not be the topic of conversations with a psychologist.
PS In the next article, we will consider in more detail how to behave in conflict situations with different types of leaders.