In my opinion, a lot of time and effort is devoted to how to resolve the conflict, but even with a search in Habr there are no discussions on how to prevent a conflict.
I am sharing my experience and will be glad to receive comments and suggestions.
First of all, conflicts are obtained by chance, but sometimes one side goes to the conflict on purpose. So.
Accidental conflict
One of the most common options for accidental conflict is to underestimate the importance of preparing the other side for change. As they say, "put before the fact . " This is both offensive and unfair, and where is the respect.
Therefore, from my side, the recipe here, although it is obvious, is very important: to talk with the one for whom something will change, before the changes themselves. Even if he or she cannot refuse, the very fact that he is given the opportunity to prepare internally already relieves stress and the effect of surprise.
Another variant of an accidental conflict is when two parties interpret the same concepts differently or interpret facts differently. Well, then a conflict begins on the basis of expectations, which everyone understands in their own way. In a team, it is important that everyone is on the same wavelength on project tasks, therefore, from my experience, it is very useful to ask clarifying questions, what and who understood, if colleagues react silently enough.
The third variant of an accidental conflict is a way to convey your feedback. Here's how to put your words in the right form - not many people know how. The solution is that you need to be able to convey your feedback to another in such a way that he does not personally offend or offend, because then the interlocutor will begin to defend himself and will definitely not agree with the arguments presented. Those. you need to criticize what has been done, and as concretely as possible, not a person, and not generalize, but look for lessons learned.
If anyone is interested, here is an example of a link to my favorite article on this topic
hbr.org/2019/03/the-feedback-fallacy
Intentional conflict
Obviously, it is more difficult to prevent an intentional conflict when one of the parties is clearly going into conflict. Again, if the conflict has already begun, then it is not worth repeating and there is a lot of information about strategies (ignore, submission, compromise, etc.). From what helps to extinguish such a conflict before the conflict itself, I note:
- if the second party guesses about the intentions of the first, then quickly propose a solution to the problem, if there is a mistake, then admit it and tell about the plan to avoid such mistakes;
- if he doesn’t guess, then he cannot do without the help of the team. Surely someone is aware of the claims of the first party and can either hint to the second one, or call the help of the team's sideboard leader.
Afterword: it is interesting that many of these techniques can be successfully applied not only at work, but also with friends, family, etc., improving the quality of your life.