If you are interested in plunging into an absolutely useless world of what people can, in principle, put themselves on an auto-answer, you are welcome. For example, my first discovery is that a fairly significant part of the population does not know about forwards and asks to forward the letter to another mailbox.
When your mailing list answers are set to work mail, everything is more or less exactly up to about half a million people in the database. But then the flooding begins with auto-responses. Correct letters begin to get lost among them. Our dispatch base is several million people, so this presented a problem.
In parallel, we started doing two things: manually collecting mail for the rule that puts autoreplies in a subfolder and thinking about how to automate this. An automatic solution was found, of course, but we also managed to collect auto-responses. Below is the distribution of types of auto-replies from one of the letters in May about what is happening with the borders.
My favorite, of course, is a certain Andrey, who set up an auto answer: “Thank you! Your letter has been delivered, if the question is urgent, please duplicate it again. Respectfully yours! " ...
There are also more plot-rich letters on the text screen. I'll show you now.
Confirmation receipt
So here's the send that got 1,484 auto-replies. The audience roughly corresponds to the Runet audience, but is slightly shifted towards those who travel on business trips and simply travel around the country. As many as 823 of the auto-replies (55% of emails) were acknowledgments.
The simplest ones look like this:
Sent to anya
Your letter has been received and will be read shortly. Thanks.
Hello! Thank you for your letter. I will definitely read it and answer you! Regards, Tatiana!
IMPULSE received !!!Several misleading auto replies:
Hooray!
Thank you very much for the letter. All the best
And even a shameless lie, unless, of course, we are talking about a robot character:
READ
Accepted for execution.
Honestly, of course, like this. Simple and sincere:
Your letter has been received, thank you, however, not the fact that I read it)))
Since it is a good form to inform the interlocutor about the next step (yes, even in an auto-reply), then you should at least set boundaries:
Hello!
Your letter has reached us.
You will be answered within three working days!
Have a nice day!
Hello.
Your letter has been delivered to your indicated email address.
I will answer the next time you connect to the Internet.
Yours faithfully, ***
Hello!
Thank you for your interest in my person.
I currently live life to the fullest, so I check and answer my email once a week, on Tuesdays at 7:00 pm.
If you urgently need to help in something (I beg you - make sure that it is really urgent) that you
cannot wait until the appointed time, then please contact me by phone +7912 ***
Thank you for understanding my decision, which will increase my productivity and productivity. This will help
me achieve more, to help you better.
Best regards,
***
If you received this letter, it means that I am not in the mail right now, and as soon as I read your letter, I will answer immediately.
And here's the strange one:
Hello! Your letter has been received, it will be reviewed within 24 hours. For now, you need to follow this link: *** Do it right now. Best regards to you and your business!
Your letter is received. Letters are processed on a first come, first served basis. And we will do our best to respond to your letter as soon as possible.
If you have sent an application for participation in the "***" project, then your application will be considered within 24 hours.
And most importantly, always remember where your towel is.
Well, here is the winner of the nomination with the best signature in the auto answer:
.
.
8.00 — 22.00 ( ) :
+7 800 *** ( )
+7 978 ***
:
+7 978 ***
.
,
***,
8 800 *** ( )
+7 495 ***
+7 978 ***
*** .
, ***
*** Crimea, RF
skype: ***
mail: ***
https: // ***. Com /
Boarding house *** in Vkontakte Facebook
And here's a simple and capacious greeting from an introvert:
You got the address wrong
The addressee has dropped out
25% report that the address does not work for one reason or another. With a little over 9 percent, the reason is temporary - vacation. There are only 6.5% of those dismissed, which means that the mail behind them is cleaned up quite often.
Simple level:
I am not now
Temporarily out of place
Although, of course, if you are on vacation or without communication, it’s strange not to add a moment in the auto answer when you can contact again. But there is also a downside - when I set my auto-replies for long trips without communication, I realized from the second time that I needed to start the letter with the words "The answering machine is talking to you" and move on to the point, because people often thought, that I am writing to them from vacation with an explanation why I will answer later.
But back to auto-replies. Here's a philosophical variation:
This mailbox does not exist.
And this is a deep philosophical option:
Your message will not be read by anyone
The second level already carries more information and shows what to do:
Respectable partners!
I hereby inform you that from 15.02.2020 I resign from myself as the CEO of *** RUSSIA.
For all questions related to cooperation in the CIS, I ask you to contact the Regional Director for the CIS *** (*** mail and phone ***).
This employee no longer works for *** LLC. Please remove this address.
Thank you for your letter, since 01/09/2020 I am on maternity leave. Please address your questions to the Head of the Installation and Service Department - *** ***@***.ru
Hello! I am on vacation temporarily. Your letter has been forwarded to our manager.
Interestingly, automatic replies about dismissals come even from free mail, that is, users often get themselves a new mailbox just for work, and at the same time they do not have corporate mail:
Hello!
You sent a letter to the post office, from which you will not wait for another answer =)
Since 18.08.18 I have not been working in JSC "***".
Apparently, there are traces of mail transfer, and the admin does not know that there are forwards from the old to the new one:
The postal address is incorrect. Mail server @ ***. Ru
From May 1, the Company *** switched to corporate mail, please send letters to ***
Please note that in connection with the move of the site to a new domain, the corporate email address has changed. New address: ***
And here he doesn't know:
Hello!
You are writing to non-working email.
If you need to contact the logistics department, call +7 4012 ***
Unfortunately, this employee quit, in the future, please write to ***
And here the admin already knows:
This mailbox is blocked. Your letter has been forwarded to the manager.
Hello, *** no longer works for ***. Your letter will be forwarded to the appropriate specialist.
But the lady prematurely started a mail with her last name and changed it along with her passport. I'll call her Ivanova for anonymity:
Good afternoon!
In connection with a happy marriage, my contact information has changed - Maria Ivanova ***.
Actual mail: maria.ivanova@***.ru
Please use a new one.
With a smile and a wish for happiness, Maria Ivanova
Apparently, the husband really insisted that his name be everywhere. He said EVERYWHERE.
And here are some wonderful people from the accounting department of one company who, perhaps, double-check Excel on the accounts:
In connection with technical problems on the server, we ask you to call *** back and make sure that you receive your correspondence.
Nomination Winner - Auto Answer with DIY Captcha:
I no longer use this mailbox due to the large amount of spam! Your letter has been deleted. Use my other addresses known to you.
If you still want me to receive a letter sent to this address, its subject should exactly match my name, written in Russian with a capital letter
Quite an interesting piece of logic:
Good afternoon! This mail was hacked. New mail ***. Please write there.
But behind this letter, apparently, not only a rich plot, but also a whole drama:
The scam is closed. Thanks for your time and money!
Advertising
3.5% of auto replies contain clutter of ads. It all starts with short and innocent letters like:
Hacking custom soap
And it continues with this spam:
!
: ?
, , , , , , , .
«, ; , », .
« : », .
! !
It happens that just the signature is larger than the body, but you have already seen this above at the sanatorium:
Hello!
Most likely you made the wrong email address when writing the letter.
- Instant loans with registration via the Internet.
Instant transfers to a bank card.
http: // ***
Sometimes a short sales letter comes in:
We publish the latest news about our work and tourism in our telegram channel - ***. Join!
Good idea for an overnight answering machine (maybe):
PROMOTION
ORDER ON THE SITE AT NIGHT from 18-7 am, get additional. a 3% discount!
Another sheet for example:
«*** *** *** ***»
:
1. , ;
2. « ***» — , , . ..
3. , ;
4. , ;
5. , ;
6. "***", ***.
[]
[]
[]
[]
( )
-: [ ]
. *** . , , . .
Other
Directly separately in this category, I will note the postmortem autoresponder, which the person managed to set up before death. To broadcast a set of their worldviews (it's so trash there that I won't spoil your psyche). True, it all ends on a positive note: "Good luck to you!" I think his mailbox will soon be deleted by the mail service due to the fact that no one contacts him. Therefore, the monument will not work. Otherwise, all social networks would eventually become more and more like graveyards.
There is an algorithm for the most frequent process for the gifted:
Good afternoon! Thank you for your attention to our proposal. To invite you for an interview, you first need to fill out a small resume on the website, after which you will be contacted by the specified contact phone number, and the time and place of the interview will be agreed with you. You need to fill in this link: ***. If successful, you will be hired. The employer is in good standing and guarantees a social package, good working conditions, extended medical care. insurance, training to the highest standards, assistance with relocation (if necessary), bonuses, bonuses and interesting and well-paid work. Once again, thanks for your time and attention.
But the security guards are fierce:
Your letter has not been delivered, since one or several recipients are prohibited from receiving mail from you (Due to the increased information security of LLC "***").
To solve the problem, please contact the system administrator (admin @ ***)
This is also an auto-reply:
When deleting all letters, you need to check you need it for other actions: Password from any page, important information for the user, etc.
It looks like the Russian-Cypriot company:
Good afternoon, dear tourists!
Our employees are on vacation.
We ask you to send all your questions to the mail nostress@***.ru
Well, someone at the mail admin@***.ru, apparently, is experiencing some difficulties with the implementation of the ITSM system:
ATTENTION!!! LETTERS TO THIS ADDRESS ARE NOT PROCESSED !!!
How to filter it all
When I took my mail noreply @ (by the way, now noreply@tutu.ru, not noreply@mosigra.ru), I noticed that there was no analogue of a land attack due to an auto-reply loop. That is, letters may have a certain sign that allows us to understand that they are automatic. Not the fact that it is inside the letter, but it’s worth digging into the question. It turned out that Exchange is doing a very stupid thing: no more than one auto-reply for each specific mailbox per day. Plus there are the x-auto-response-suppress: all and x-ms-exchange-inbox-rules-loop headers.
Our admin Sergey Okunev obviously knew this for a long time, so he put together a system of the following filters:
«Auto-Submitted: auto-replied» «Auto-Submitted: auto-generated» , . , , . « », « , », . , , , . Precedence: . — , X-, :
- 'Auto-Submitted' : 'auto-generated' 'auto-replied'
- 'Precedence' : 'bulk'
- 'X-Autogenerated' : 'Redirect ' 'Mirror' 'Letter' 'Group' 'Forward' 'Reply'
- 'X-AutoReply' : 'support@corp.mail.ru' 'YES'
- 'X-Precedence' : 'auto_reply'
- 'X-MDAutoResponse' : '1'
- 'X-Webmin-Autoreply' : '1'
- 'X-Zarafa-Vacation' : 'autorespond'
- 'Received-SPF' 'envelope-from=<>;'
- : 'Your meeting was forwarded' 'Meeting Forward Notification'
- And check MessageType: Calendaring. "Match sender address in message" - "Envelope".
This system of rules collects more than 99.5% of autoscripts, and the rest is solved by a replenished list of explicitly specified boxes.
In general, if you have it set up like this, it is useful to look into autoreplies once. There is a brave new world there that will definitely bring you closer to your users and at the same time remind you once again that it is worth telling the HR department about installing a forward from dismissed employees. Well, sometimes just a couple of words hides an awesome plot.