They come with impostor syndrome, with a feeling of burnout and associated problems, which I will discuss in this article.
Impostor Syndrome
No one comes to a psychologist and says: “I have impostor syndrome! Help . " Complaints usually sound like this:
- I have problems with the team
- I am not satisfied with my job
- I am constantly dissatisfied with myself
- I don't want to go to work
The impostor syndrome is a psycho-emotional state in which a person cannot reliably integrate himself into his resume, into the experience that he has. When he successfully interviews a large company and says: "It happened by chance, they just didn't ask me the right questions, didn't notice that I was not technically developed as much as necessary . " Whatever a person has achieved, he is not worthy of his achievements. Whichever rung of the ladder you stand on is always an undeserved rung.
I have identified three levels of severity of this syndrome.
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- “I think Imposter Syndrome is cool, it helps me grow. The more I drive myself, the harder I treat myself, the more demands I make on myself, the more successful I am. " And this attitude sits so firmly, people hold on to it so much that they do not notice how it damages health and relationships. After all, a person who treats himself so hard, treats others just as hard, translates high expectations from others, and it is difficult to work with him.
It is important not to confuse Impostor Syndrome with overcoming challenges that help you grow.
If I need to study something, to figure out something, which I don't know, I take steps and go to the next stage. I'm doing it. And with impostor syndrome, whatever I do, whatever I achieve, I fall short all the time. And my attitude towards myself is constantly negative.
Above, I gave an example with an interview. And here is another example: " everything is easy for colleagues, but it is difficult for me. And if I were a competent, strong developer, everything would be easy for me too ." Such an attitude results in envy and difficult relationships with colleagues: a person feels insecure next to them, because they are perceived better than him, more competent, and it is difficult for him to communicate with them.
Fatigue is perceived as laziness. Developers often say: “I work during the day, read something in the evening, listen to podcasts, watch videos. I'm getting tired. But this is not fatigue, this is my laziness, I just, apparently, do not strive to develop so much, not so focused on my profession . " As if every free minute a person has to plunge into something, so do all "good" developers.
I had such a sad case. My client worked for a large integrator company; the customer promised to pay bonuses in a short time. My client was overworking, staying at night, they met the deadline, but their team did not receive an award. One day he was summoned and presented with an envelope: "You are great, thank you for doing so cool, we are grateful to you." The whole team threw off and presented him with the prize. From myself, because they appreciated his contribution to the project.
Do you know what happened next? He quit. He believed that, firstly, he did not deserve it, and secondly, he was scared: what if one day the team finds out that he didn’t do anything special, and he would have to answer to the team for this award.
In impostor syndrome, criticism is perceived as evidence of incompetence, it is perceived painfully, but deservedly. And praise is always undeserved. If the whole team says "good", and one person points to the joint, then only this one criticizing voice will be noticed.
People with persistent impostor syndrome work a lot: 15 hours a day, on weekdays and weekends, diseases for them do not exist. They reason like this: “I need to reach a higher level so as not to be afraid that I will be exposed. I need to stop being incompetent . "
Consequences of Impostor Syndrome
There are many of them, very unpleasant: insomnia, poor health - both physical and psycho-emotional, problems with the team, with productivity. Overwork is so exhausting that people cannot sleep from strong stress. Another consequence of impostor syndrome and insomnia is depression.
Depression is not just a bad mood, it is a serious illness that cannot be ignored. A depressed person cannot work, it takes colossal efforts to get out of bed in the morning and brush his teeth. A successful person who worked in a serious company, played sports and took care of his family suddenly falls apart. He lies down and does not want to get up, as long as the light is turned off and not touched. The depressive state is dangerous. Some of the clients I work with are monitored in parallel by psychiatrists with depressive disorder.
Another consequence of impostor syndrome is burnout.
Emotional burnout
When we burn out, we want to quit our favorite profession and favorite company, not because it doesn't suit us, but because we burned out. We can no longer look objectively. I like my job, but I’m burnt out now, because I was filling myself up with work, I told myself that I should not stop. Some managers also say: "Yes, work, you must not stop."
Burnout and fatigue should not be confused. Fatigue is something that can be corrected with a vacation: I rested and felt better. When you burn out, you need to change something in life.
Signs of burnout
Increased desire to be alone.
The team calls me for lunch, and the person does not want to communicate with them. Doesn't want to talk to his wife / husband. Is late or does not come to the rallies at all. I had a client who, during rallies, went to the toilet, locked himself there and waited for the rally to take place.
Envy and aggression.
People who feel better, who are happy in their workplace, are annoying, and this can hide envy: "They feel good, but I don't feel that way." This leads to conflicts with the team.
Dissatisfaction with others, blaming them for all the failures.
We broadcast to others that we don't like something, that they are doing something wrong, but we are not trying to fix it: we have no strength.
Problems in all areas of life.
First, there is disorder at work, then something is wrong at home, because an aggressive and depressed mood is broadcast to relatives and friends. Clients came to me on the verge of divorce - against the background of burnout, because there were serious conflicts at home. On the body level: headaches, back pains, colds that suddenly come from somewhere. During burnout, the body suffers greatly, because the stress affects our physical condition.
Bad habits.
Addictions develop, because we try to relieve strong tension with at least something. Alcohol appears. And then there are many stimulant medications to help you stay at a high level of productivity. Addiction appears very subtly. I know the story of how one company buys drugs for their team.
Impostor syndrome and burnout are associated with the violation of personal boundaries - both in relation to people and in relation to oneself. But this is the topic of the next article, which will be released very soon. In it, I will also tell you how you can help yourself.
Until then, ask questions. I will be happy to explain everything that remains unclear.
PS: all examples in the article are given with permission and are as depersonalized as possible. All matches are random.